One BoX

Time?

2008-11-26T00:26:00.002+08:00

Time heals all wounds. Does it? I am not sure about this after Sunday. It's been exactly a year, since the dragonboat incident happened. After the memorial service, it made me really think a lot.

It feels as thought all these has never happened. I feel as thought i hv just met Reuben in the gym and even trained with him. He has always been a source of motivation. A tall and well built guy, definitely threatening, esp if u r new to the gym. But after knowing him, u will realise he is like a gentle giant. He was someone who has dreams and really inspiring. I would remember him, motivating me each time after trg, in various ways to make sure i push hard in trg and not neglect my studies. He was also very protective, being new and young to the sport. He always tell me not to give up and train hard like a 'ninja'(His fav phrase, probably his obsession with his ps3 games). Thought a year has passed, the service made me realise that it is so difficult to let go, all the brilliant hair cuts he has given, the motivating speeches and his smile that is in every pic. These are memories that will never be forgotten.

As the saying goes, time heals all wounds, does it? Or does it make it hurts more?

It's over?!?

2008-11-11T17:17:00.002+08:00

At last, the most expected moment is almost here. The A's are ending and freedom is just a step away. There are so many plans that i hv, yet so many things i worry. To make things even spicier, i am enlisting on Jan 7. Haha. Wad short time i hv left.

A's was not as perfect as expected, did made a few fumbles here and there. What's done is done, just move on. Just hope that everything is gonna be fine. Found the inner spirit in me and i believe it is time i need to do a lot of stuff after A's.

I really wish i hv the courage to move on and do a lot of things. Well, just like the bucket list ( I am not dying!), i gotta make a list of to do's soon, before i enlist and striking them out one by one. Haix. Just hope the most impt one will be a big FAT TICK!!

London

2008-10-02T11:38:00.003+08:00

The feeling of going to the airport is both exciting and saddening. Everything i go to the airport, it always gives me the feeling of how great it's gonna be if i can go overseas. But usually it is jus to send someone off. And tt's very very sian, esp it is ur best buddy that u are sending off.

Sent Terrance off last night. And indeed he cried. Haha. It's sad, now that i hv no more gym buddy and gyming alone once again. But i am glad he is gg off to further his studies. Hope to meet him soon nxt yr, if he still remembers his frenz. Haha.

Off to mugging again. Argh!

Bitch!

2008-09-28T00:33:00.005+08:00

Woah. F1 is really cool! Too bad i didn't go down to watch it. Haha. Anyway, studying is more impt now. Can't fail at the last moment.

Failing and falling once and again. My life is really full of ups and downs. I need more ups. Looking at some photos really drives the anger in me. I must learn to control my emotions. Just like the Jedis. I must not let emotions interfer in my affair. Lol. (Hardcore fan of Star Wars) Haha. Pity i cant be like the Sith. Haha.

"The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side." Yoda

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."Yoda

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." Yoda

I must conquer the fear and move on. Believing in myself. Thought the dark side is tempting, but i know i mus follow the right path for now. Haha. It is studying and studying. Till the end of A's. Haix. I hope something good comes into my life soon.

Yoda my idol!

EMO!!!

2008-09-22T23:21:00.001+08:00

"Regret for wasted time is more wasted time"
Mason Cooley, O magazine 2004

What is there to regret when you realise that all the efforts you put in have come back to zero. Just like the unstable economy that struck the World a few days ago. People's hard earned money and all the investment and hopes they have, shattered in a spilt second.

If i continued to blame myself, blame those around me, blame my surroundings and blaming everything. It is just wasting more time. Picking myself up and keep fighting, that is the best solution.

Met up with Paul and Dexter on Saturday and we went to have lunch together. I realised that i have been finding excuses, been finding reasons to escape reality. Probably the reason i am not doing well now is not that i can't do it and i desperately need tuition. Probably i do, but that maybe not be the solution.

I realise 2 things that i need the most after talking to Paul and Dex, "Focus" and "Belief". Focusing on what you are studying and concentrating on whatever you are learning, will help me save more time than waste them. "Belief" is when you believe in what you are doing is right and never give up. This is what that brings results.

"The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot." Michael Altshuler

Time is someting that i am able to control. Time does not wait, time does not stop, time keeps moving and it is how fast i move so that i am not left behind. I was shocked that Terrance is leaving next Wednesday. Time really flies! Meeting him was a blessing and i am glad i have met such a good buddy. He must be feeling frustrated and confused. Being excited about going to UK to study and not being able to let go of all his friends in here.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." Mark Twain

I am scared of the exams, scared of being a signle person, scared of not doing well, I fee like a coward and a loser at times. I thank my family and my good friends around me for encouraging me and motivating me. Finding solutions to problems can only be done, if i am ready to face it directly. The courage to face it, fighting my fears, has to be done by myself and solved by myself. This is life and it is only going to get worse as i grow older. Sitting in the MRT today, i looked around and i realised how life is going to be like. Treasure the times that i have, it is not going to comeback nor is it going to wait. Face the challenges one by one. I am ready to move on to the next step. This is for Terrance, my good buddy:

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Lao-Tsu

All the best for your studies in UK. Thought it is a new beginning, a start of Uni life, don't forget your friends here, in Singapore.

Haix...

2008-09-13T15:41:00.002+08:00

1st wk of prelims is over. This prelims kinda sux. The paper were not as easy as it seems to be. Standard has definitely increase from last yr. Gotta really jus do de best i can for the rest of the papers and hope to see some improvements from mid yrs. Haix...

Prelims

2008-09-07T10:48:00.002+08:00

Yes. Prelims start tmr and I hv this unprepared feeling. Feels like i am gonna get fucked. I really need more time, but the unfocused studying that i hv been hving, giving me more time makes no use at all. With all the time i hv, let's hope that i can focus and make things better. LOL!

Unlucky?

2008-08-30T01:41:00.003+08:00

Got de iphone at long last. Been spending lots of money on it unexpectedly. Blaming it on hving bad luck or a painful and expensive lesson. I don't noe. All i noe is tt i am in a veri 'broke' situation. And can't really let it bother me, cos prelims is coming.

But out of all the emo and sad and pain, sometimes, frenz tt are so close to u really cheers me up.

Take care man, James. Enjoy ur Taiwan trg. He even msged me b4 he left. I am quite touched by it.

Gotta eat less and save more. I need a miracle.

Scarcity

2008-08-26T23:43:00.003+08:00

Stressed up. The feeling of not being productive and knowing that the deadlines are sinking in is killing me. I need to really make myself do some productive work.

Gosh. So many things i wan and so limited capital. Economics problem on scarcity really applies to me. Haha. Iphone, new pair of sunglasses, a new wallet, havanas... So many. Argh! Plus prom is coming, i gotta really start saving man. HAiX.

So many weird things happened today. Woke up late, stone and watch tv. Hit the gym before gg over to study at SOT wif Carol, Ivy and Ruo lin. Did some work dere and recap phy a bit wif Carol. Quite pissed off. Dad is really muddle headed when it comes to handling stuff and really makes me damn mad. Temper is quite bad lately. Stress always make me hard to control the anger. Haix...

I need a job after A's man. And not one, i guess a few. Lol... And i need to stop sighing...

Alas...

2008-08-25T23:41:00.003+08:00

Hoho. It's coming at last. After a long wait. It is going to be delievered to my place this wed. Argh! Wad a wrong timing plus super distracting. Gonna hv GP paper the nxt day.

Mugging. Been doing a lot lately. Stress is killing me. Gotta push myself and focus. Onli 2 months left to A's. I believe i can do it.

Cant wait for the iphone to come. Till then i better continue mugging.

70

2008-08-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

Punch those morons! Punch them down!

I need more time!! I need my motivation back! I need to watch my diet seriously.(random) LOL!

I wan to mug at Starbucks at United Square. Wonder if she's dere.

70 days more!

Criticism

2008-08-12T23:23:00.003+08:00

I jus learnt something veri meaningful and it has become one of my fav. quotes:

Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irrtation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified, it is not criticism - learn from it.

Clones!

2008-08-12T11:32:00.002+08:00

Clones? Of myself and not her. Lol. Haha. It's fate. I meet the other 'her' again. And i think she noticed. Lol. I guess i am still noob.

I need more courage. =)

Went supper wif Nigel, Cedric and Daniel. Nigel asked me a real good question. Why i say i wanna do business? Actually, he's right. I don't really know. Actually i tot i know a lot, but i realise i don't. I am confused and unsure. I need a direction. I need a light to show me my path.

Probably they are all guiding me. The supper wif them i learnt a lot. Like a ninja in secret training. I need to do what i must and at the same time, find a direction. The signs are slowly directing me towards the correct path. It's jus up to me and see if i am taking the path of my choice.

I need to focus and doing it badly. Handling the A's is now the no.1 piority. 'U mus do what u like!' and i really enjoy challenges. Thought it is tough doing it alone. But i will get thru it.

iphone

2008-08-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

I got the iphone booked. Woah! Hope i am able to get it. I really wan it for so long so long.

Saw the Nokia touch screen phone. Haha. Like wad Jeremy said, it is almost exactly the same as iphone. Wtf. Haha. Could tell there is a lot of competition these days.

4 days of break. I really need to do some productive studyin. I need more time, how i wish i could hv more of myself to help me do stuff.

The Good Old Days

2008-08-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

Been lazy to blog lately. I am feeling so sick of sch that i don noe y i am gg. I cant even finish my revision and sch has been stacking all the time practice which is jus a waste of time. Today is 080808, opening of the Beijing Olympics. Haha. Took some glimpse on the tv, no time to watch actually. Need to do my revision.

Suddenly hit me to realise y clubbing nv feel the same as before. Was looking at some of Reu piano videos on Youtube. I jus got the old times feelings rushing back. I understand y i never feel the same when i club this year. It is not that clubs are changing, but rather it is the people i am going with hv changed.

I still remember the days where i would meet Reu and Justin at bishan and head down to either Zouk or Home club tgt. Haha. Those were the days, with SAFSA and sometimes the company of the nteam mates. I really miss everyone. I really miss our training days and our times when we hv our 'night training'. Time flies, life goes on, i am gg to take my A's soon and they are gg to uni soon.

I guess i am lucky to hv met them. To hv such a short but wonderful journey with them. Such experience that i will nv forget and never be able to experience it again. Probably what Cedric say about me doing things not my age, is something i am not agree with. Thanks guys for the great times together.

3 months left to A levels. I am all focused and ready to chiong like a mugger.

Cant wait for all this to end.

Thanks guys!

@_@

2008-07-29T23:52:00.002+08:00

I am so tired. Getting this weird feeling in my stomach. Oh well. Not really bothered by it. Jus feels a bit weird.

I really gotta make some time meet up wif PH this wk and study wif him. Do some catching up wif him. Really wish i could sit at StarBucks, enjoy the coffee and maybe some snacks. Haix. But gotta add in the mugging. ONli bout 90 days or so left. Motivation is raging.

XD

2008-07-27T22:21:00.003+08:00

Weekend was productive. Manage to do some productive revision. Gotta start my final sprints for the prelims. Plan hard for revision and make sure i am well prepared.

Found a good place to study. Furthermore, it has bus for me to go home. I guess iam gonna study late at novena. Gd atmosphere to study in. Back to studyin once more, no time to loss.

Serious

2008-07-22T23:42:00.004+08:00

Sleeping for 3 hours is definitely not enough if you have one full day ahead. Saving money and trying to cut down on food u crave olso doesn't work, esp when u hv so little sleep.

Yup. Why so serious? Really gotta applaud that joker act was the best in this Batman movie 'Dark Night'. He was able to show a different type of joker that will stay rooted in the viewer's minds for many days. I will really give him 4.5 out of 5 for his brillant act.

Learnt something new today. Think i am beginning to understand and know things more after clearing my doubts. Mr Tong's Speedboat vs Cruise Ship really let me think quite a bit. Thought i hvn't gotten an answer, it brought me a new view to the whole picture. I am glad i asked.

Really hope the answer dawn upon me soon. Really need a haircut, hair is in a mess. Friday meet the parents, veri sian. And so many things i need, ipod touch and a new wallet, i really need a miracle or a gd fairy godma. Gotta go focus on my study. My life till A's will jus be mug, train, sleep and eat. Maybe could squeeze in some time for 1 or 2 movies and maybe some shop ard tt's all. Other than tt, it is MUG MUG MUG! Cos i am serious!

'There is no place like home.'

2008-07-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

'There is no place like home.'

Familiar phrase. Gotta agree wif the phrase. No place like home. I am beginning to learn how to appreciate it.

Ok. Tt's jus something random. Sometimes i am jus so confused and don noe wad i am thinking of. Like now, i am really confused. Took some time off to be alone. Jus totally alone. ( i am serious) And i guess it's not tt bad, like how my mom mentioned it. At least u don hv to wait and jus do whatever u wan to do. Only person answerin to is jus yourself.

I think this time off alone thingy is gd. Maybe shall include it sometime in every month. Now i gotta freshen up and back to the books. Argh! Cant wait fer A's to end. I need a break.

X_X

2008-07-18T16:29:00.003+08:00

This is a BAD week. Very bad. So many stupid things happened. Thank God this wk has ended. Nth beats stayin at home.

Oh well, stayin at home gives me the opportunity to catch up on my work. Since all the suay-ness for this wk has ended, hope the gd luck starts pourin in nxt wk.

Argh! They didn't approve my application. Luckily, the other one has been approved. Oh well, this gives me a reason to spend less. I guess i should. I need a new wallet. Better look out for one soon... Back to work.

Ninja!

2008-07-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

Work is piling up and it feels as thought no matter how much time i hv is also not enough. I am hving one of those feelings where everything ard me is jus so empty. The emptiness in me makes me feel as thought everything ard me seems unfair and giving me fatigue.

Met Jia Bin fer tuition jus now. He was nice to give me tuition for maths and chem every wk. At least now, i hv someone to guide me thru my maths and wont get stuck for hours not knowing what to do.

I am so gonna get Cedric for what he did to me in gym today. Haha. Met some SA girl that used to take bus from same bus stop as me everyday. Too bad, she graduated and she came gym today. Went up to ask her if she know my friend. And tt spark off Cedric and his big mouth! He is gonna get it from me. Lol.

Read a small portion of a book. I come to realise that ' Successful people are not talented.It is what drives me to the success.' Well, I got my license, so success here i come. Like a secret ninja, i am in trg!

_|_

2008-07-15T23:50:00.003+08:00

I feel so tired and it is jus the beginning of the wk. Everything seems so draggy. I feel so shag and i can barely take a break.

Gotta be strong, gotta be strong. 6 weeks left. Deadlines seem to get closer and i better speed up. More focused now, gym and study.

I need to train hard and study hard. Mr Tong's lesson today was great. Nth more to say, gtg pack up and catch some sleep. Luckily tmr is a short day.

Cant seem to stop getting the song by Timbaland and Ne Yo out of my head. Lol

>_<

2008-07-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

It's been quite a disastrous day.

First i went down to cox fer the juniors after a long time been away from dragonboating. Then i gotta realise that the currents today were exceptionally strong.

It really reminded me of the days where Reu was ard and he would somehow go out there and face the danger. Face his fears and emerge out as a brave warrior that had conquered his fear. Unlike him, i was a bit coward.

I went out there, did my best, at alas my worst fear came true. The last race, which i don understand how they had made it to the Tai Finals, i crashed and cause the DQ. The opponent boat had already eaten to my lane before the race even started, to avoid i sorta overturned the boat and ate to the first lane, before cutting back to my lane like some Initial D movie.

What made things worse was the stupid officials had to criticise me. The feelings really sucks. I agree i shopuld get a coxing cert. and part of the incident was my fault. I am a no experience coxer. I learnt my coxing from the Nteam and SAFSA mates, Ah Hee and my brilliant frens, Reu and Chee. I practised it every trg and every opportunity. I even trained other teams and u claim i am of no standards. Fucking officals have no brains at all. If it wasn't for the exams, i would still be training hard in nteam and SAFSA or Mountbatten.

Sometimes it sucks, but I always believe that what goes around comes around. Gotta be the change that you want to see in people, even if it sucks. I think I'll just sleep.

Sales are still going on. I still need my boxes from Zara and maybe could grab some stuff for topman. Sianx. I am suppose to save money and get my haircut nxt wk.

I need a miracle.

Tired!!

2008-07-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

I am so tired. Tired from my studies, tired from all the owrkouts and esp. tired from thinking so much. So tired that i slog in bed today till bout 11.

Forced myself to go fer a jog before gg out to meet the guys. Watched 'HellBoy 2' today. Wasn't veri impressed with the movie thought. Felt like it was combination of LOTR, Jay Chou's Golden Armour and bit of Narnia and Matrix. Lol. Every movie produced nowadays all seem to look the same. Not impressive at all. As thought the movies are jus created with the same ideas and concepts, but with different characters onli.

Guess it is not worth my money watching these movies. Better use the time to study instead. I need to make myself more productive tmr. Finding more bout the economies in the 1990s has took quite some time. I need to start mugging soon..

Education?

2008-07-07T19:05:00.004+08:00

Mid yrs ended and jus as i tot i am gonna get a well derserved break, messages flooded de phone. Homeworks and a lot more work are already prepared. J2 is tiring, i cant even take much break after my exams. Even thought the journey is tough, i believe there are 'angels' ard me lookin after me, giving me gd advices over the last few days.

It started on my gp lecture day. The topic was education. I was already veri sian wif my new time- table and all the work that i hv to complete jus 2 days after exams. The lecture on education was not jus on the topic education, it had the elements of reality in it. It made me think real hard. A question was asked "How would you like to be remembered when u die?" and another was "Do you think you will feel u hv succeeded if u died tmr?" One thing came to mine, the Dragonboat Tragedy. I realised that i hv succeeded in a way or another if i really had to die tmr, at least i hv spent a lot more times wif family and friends compared to how i was like previously. I hv learnt to treasure everything i hv and value everything ard me. I believe i hv reach quite a few check points on my journey thru life. Like wad they say, a successful journey really depends on whether we reach the final destination we wanted to get to in the first place. It has taught me to fight harder for my goals and my goals are wad i really love, wad i really want. Mid yrs result will not be tt gd i noe it fer myself. It is a failure, as i noe i did not put in the hard work and effort that i should hv. The lecturer said "Failure can refine you. Don't let it define you." I hv now found the meaning and the reason to study hard for prelims. With them in mind, i am a step closer towards both my short and long term goals.

I went for J1's dragonboat trg, which is my 'grand- juniors'. Lol. Met a few Nteam mates, laughing at my fair skin. At least my muscles are still there. Haha. Somehow juniors all don dare to talk to me. Talked to CJ and i am glad he chose to do what he likes and not forcing himself to do things he don like. I believe if u play to your natural strength, stick to the stuff you love, more and more will follow. He also said the same to me. It's great meeting them. The more reason y i hv avoided Kallang. Meeting Ah Hee and all the nteam mates, makes it difficult for me to let go of dragonboating. Like what Kingley say" Study hard! U can always dragonboat after ur exams." I cant wait for the day my A's end and i can go back and train with them. And even help Ah Hee wif the junior's trg.

Today i met Cedric, had lunch wif him. HE motivated me and ask me to find the meaning for everything i do. He said that once u find the meaning of things u wanna do, the things jus become easier and easier and u will realise it is never boring to do them. U will enjoy wadever you are doing and overcome them easily with no fear at all. I tot hard and i hv learnt a great deal frm him today. Haha. Got my printer at last and decided to blog out this meaningful entry so that i wont forget it. Gotta go bath and complete my work.

Shrinking!!!!

2008-06-29T00:16:00.003+08:00

Burning from the fatigue of studying late and squeezing my brain juice trying to ans the fuckin qn of the mid yrs exam papers. I feel like shit. Hvn't been gymin, could feel myself shrinking. Maths paper was pretty cool, phy and chem totally sux. Now i hv to spend my wkends doin my econs.

Met Cedric and Daniel on fri nite. Been long time since i seen them and Cedirc once again appeared wif something funny. Haha. It's pretty awesome to meet time. Like what he says " Bishan gym has a home feeling". I gotta agree, it's the place where many things has happened, a place that has truly changed me.

I guess after toking to them and seeing Nigel aka The Hulk back, i am really motivated to mug. They are really truly motivations like how Reu was a motivation. I cant wait fer mid yrs to end. The exams are really burning me out. Gotta go back ta mugging. Hope i can keep this blog gg after my exams.

Random

2008-06-23T22:59:00.002+08:00

Dreams really can come true, but they are most often the result of hard work, determination and persistence.

When the end of the journey seems impossible to reach, remember that all you need to do is take one more step. Stay focused on your goal and remember... each small step will bring you a little closer.

When the road becomes hard to travel and it feels as if you'll never reach the end... look deep inside your heart and you will find strength you never had.

I haven't blog fer a long long time. Probably i was lazy and i jus didn't feel like writing. I was mentally blocked, mid yrs coming and i jus didn't hv much mood to write. Furthermore, my addiction to soccer all of a sudden has become part of the reason. Haha. Guess Euro was not what i had expected.

Back to topic, I was cleaning up my drawers when i found all the cards she written to me. She did write a lot to me. Probably i was still too immature i guess, i barely took the time to read all the cards. The effort that she took to write, the heart and soul she has put in to do it. My heart sank as i continued reading. I have to admit i do miss her. I do regret not treasuring the times tgt with her. She did make many efforts to show how she cared for me. I wonder how it felt for her when we both decided to break up. The broke up did strengthen my mental and taught me to be independent and to grow stronger.

She did have her flaws, she was easily influenced and has no decisions bout anything at all. Makes me pretty mad at times. But her silent caring ways and her soft hearted and gentleness covered her flaws and this made me harder for me to let go. I keep claiming i hv let go and moved on, but i nv did. I was only lookin for a substitute and trying to find another her. Maybe she moved on, found someone better and hv forgotten bout me. Probably that is the reason, but deep down inside i hope it's not the reason, i believe it is another.

Life is unfair sometimes i guess. But tt does not stop me from making dreams come true. I got a lot of dreams and each one are very sweet. Like how hardworking the bees are harvesting honey, i will work hard and soon dreams will become reality. But some sweet dreams are too far to be reached, maybe i jus gotta do what the quote says. Look deep inside my heart and find the strenght i never knew i had...

Dreams

2008-06-03T23:34:00.003+08:00

Dreams, i guess we are all just made of dreams. I hv dreams too, many actually. I come ot realise that dreams are just dreams. They are never part of reality, they will always be sweet, be something nice (otherwise it's nightmare, lol) and something that a part of u really desires it. Dreams will never come true.

Or that is wad i used to believe. Until i met Reu, Nigel, Cedric and many more that i cant name. I came to realise this. Dreams are sweet, everyone has them. But they can come true and the sweet things that appear in ur dreams will become ur reality, maybe not exactly the way u dream of it. They will come to 'life', when u hv taken actions to make these dreams of urs come true. I hv to agree, when u hv taken serious actions dreams do come true. Like how i wish to be part of SAFSA and Nteam, my tough and strainous training paid off. I was able to make my dreams come true. And many of them did it, which is y i am so motivated all of asudden. I realised that i hv dreams that i desire so much and for it to happen, i am gonna take actions and serious actions. I hv place my passion aside, but it does not end there. My dreams of going to uni has sparked off a motivated me. Study, eat, sleep and gym, these are gg to be the nxt phase of these yr till the A's are over.

Drifting off, i msg her. As expected, i knew she would ignore. I did take actions, to still be frenz. But since u made it clear, i knew it well. Terrance tell me, y would i go find the misery again. Tt's true, there are better ones out there. Maybe wad Bran say was true, thought it is a bit 'noob' i guess. 'It's hard to let go.' I know of some who jus cant let go, but i think i gotta. Maybe her thinkings are still as shaky as how it was like. I don noe. Wad i noe is that i hv matured. I hv moved on wif life and hving a gd future ahead. I hv dreams that i noe is gonna come true and when it does, i am glad i hv so many gd frenz ard tt helped me.

Miss

2008-06-01T20:32:00.002+08:00

I mus really stop listening to sad or emo songs. These songs jus probably reflect a part of ur emotions, the most weakest part. I gotta agree that Max Shanti's When i Get there has really become one of my most favourite song. The lyrics seem to be so true that i feel as thought i hv become part of the song.

Been trying hard to study after SPA, gotta find ways to focus once more. I really feel quite emotional these few days, over things i see and even in my dreams. Lol. Sometimes i really feel veri lousy. I really miss Reu and Chee sometimes. They used to be my motivators and now they have left, things hv become so different. Changes are gd, but not all of them are pleasant. I miss rowing, each time as i see the nteam boat passby. This thought always hit me, i should be in there. Fortunately, I am glad i met some gd pals in the gym, giving me gd advice and i know i mus focus and study hard.

It's only half a year left, like how Reu tried to make the World a better place through his music. I wanna study hard and really inspired to be as successful as him. Like what he always tell me," Dont be nua!"

When I Get There

2008-06-01T20:00:00.001+08:00

When I Get There By Max Shanti

This may sound crazy
It probably is
but could you tell me where
true love is

Just point me in the right direction
i swear i wont make a sound
i'm looking for a neon sign
it's what i haven't found

they say it's gone south
where all the good things go
you'll see the flashing lights
and you know you are home

And there's no fancy name for it
No one knows who the Aphrodite is
It's only rain and rainbows
and the promise of bliss
But when i get there
It just is

I believe in love
but it's probably not for me
romance, the chase, the attractive engima
it's not me

I thought i was there before
but my heart got broken you see
I heard it's not easy
but you'll know you're home

And there's no fancy name for it
No one knows who the Aphrodite is
it's only rain and rainbows
and the promis of bliss
But when i get there
it just is

All these questions
I gotta ask before i go
If i'll never find it
will you let me know?

And there's no fancy name for it
No one knows who the Aphrodite is
It's only rain and rainbows
and the promise of bliss
But when i get there
It's just is

SPA?!?

2008-05-30T06:29:00.000+08:00

YooHoo! SPA is over at last. After an intensive 2 days, the dreaded moments hv gone and now a burden has gone. Haha. Jus heard Maroon 5's song' Better that we break'. An awesome song and totally in love wif it. I really enjoy Maroon 5 songs. I really like their songs and i guess they hv become my fav band.

Gym in sch today, cant believe my strength is improving. Gotta rush a bit later, going to meet Po Han fer dinner tonight. Even he is busy, quite sian he is going overseas sia. Well goot a concentrate fer mid years now. Haix. Time to push like how i did fer SPA. Really mixed feelings now. I think i need to start using the right head, like wad Terrance says. Sometimes lonliness jus drive me insane. Lol.

Feeling or Fate?

2008-05-26T14:55:00.000+08:00

It has really been a while since i last blog. Been veri busy. Even now as i am doing this i still got loads of work at hand. The coming holiday is jus a bullshit. Haha. Hving SPA exams in 2 days time. Gotta do loads of preparations fer it. And the mid years right after the holidays and i still got loads of studying to do. I really hv no time to rest. Really gotta squeeze some tme out to rest abit and do some catchin up wif some frenz.

It is really tough, but actually it's quite great being able to go thru so many stuff alone. Thought the feelings sux sometimes. Haha. The comment is jus so random. Smetimes i really wonder does she like me or is it jus a waste of time to wait. The emotions really sux. I really miss a lot of ppl. Sometimes i wonder is this a trial fer me to finish my this veri important year and grow to be a mentally stronger person. I can feel each day i am growing mentally stronger and closer to my parents. Maybe, it is their blessings fer me to do so. To learn the importance of my family.

Yesterday lecture, the recordings didn't work. Carol was rite. Haha. Oh well, doesn't matter, jus means i gotta ask the lecturer to help me record. Shall note this down. Haha. There was this frequent stares and i wonder wad it really means. Heard the frequent 'stare' person was here fer Master's. Sadly, i couldn't wake up or actually lazy to wake up. Haha. I was really hit hard by Terrance's words and i agree wif him. Sometimes wad he says is really right. If fate is there or if u really hv the feelings, we will meet again.

I shall try and keep this blog update during the holidays. A place fer me to destress. Now is back to SPA. I really hope it's both feelings and fate. But wad is the probabilty of tt?

Memories

2008-05-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

Had a jog this morning, like how i used to do wif Reu. Went over to visit Reu's parents today. It's been a while since i been to his house. Remembered how often i used to go over his place to chill and even get my hair cut. I really miss him. Sometimes i still wish he was still ard motivating me to train and study harder.

Walked the usual route to Reu's house and had a really great chat wif uncle Freddie and Auntie Patsy. The more i chat, the more i realise how long he has left us. This really motivates me to really work hard and study hard to be the 'perfect' son tt every parents hope their child to be. And Reu has definitely become a role model for everyone. His music would live on and his memories will always stay rooted in my heart.

Reu say: 'Don't be nua!'
YiHe say: 'I wont and i NEVER will.'

Hope u can hear me dude. I will work hard and reach fer my goals. And thanks fer the muscle milk and the name tag, it will be something i will treasure dearly.

Family

2008-04-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

Gotta rush all my work and clear all the test. Still wondering if i should participate in the weird event this fri in sch. Hope i can find someone join wif me.

While doing my work, this weird dream struck. (Ok, i am not focusing. Lol.) But this dream really shed some light to me. Let me discover the reason of everything. I realise what really makes a team strong. Actually it is not purely abt fitness. I hv to agree that fitness is part of it. But i realised one thing. It is tt every strong team, they hv found a 'home'. It does not mean i am ur dragonboat teammates and tt's it. It is something deeper. It is more than a friendship. It's as thought we hv become a family.

While training in SAFSA, i hv understand the true meaning of a team. Training tgt and taking care of each other. Each time, i see the members caring fer each other. Working tgt and taking care of one another. I come to realise tt team spirit is the most impt. No matter how much we clique wif our frenz, but in the end, we still come tgt as one. We still protect each other and take care of each other. It is onli thru this bond that a team grows and a team excels.

I understand y i nv stood in after my team left. It is the same as my family has left. And this 'family' bonding. I hv not seen in the nxt batch. I noe y i could not resist wanting to join Mountbatten. And how badly i missed rowing wif my SAFSA batch. It is because they r 'family'

Flu?!

2008-04-26T11:49:00.000+08:00

Stupid flu. Why wont it jus go away. It's really killing me. Cant perform at my best while trg and i cant even run the dist i wanna go! Didn't manage to run to Potong as planned. But it's ok, at least i did my cardio. But the feeling really sux. Hope i get well soon. Sch work and trg, i really need to be in top form.

Been moody lately. Maybe because of the weather or because i am jus too tired. Better control my temper soon before it really pisses others and me off. Really remembered how bad my temper used to be. And wad made me change my temper. I really miss a lot of things. Guess i am really getting old. Haha. A lot of things has happened to me in the past year. And seriously my life has tremendously changed. I am proud to say that i am discovered my passion and what i am truly working hard for. Realise what i wan to achieve in the future. And mature in my thoughts. I even did things that i would not hv done in the past and even met ppl that i nvr knew i would meet. I guess the change was really needed. I wonder how things would be like if some of the events didn't happen...

I guess remembering the past is impt. But i believe it's time for me to look forward and move on. There are more impt things. More piorities to be set and i am all geared up ready to go. I am ready to come back stronger. It's a choice i hv made. [Hey Ninja, hope u see this. And i hv no regrets]

Papaya

2008-04-22T23:37:00.001+08:00

Protein! It's running out. I need to stock up my protein soon. Jus so shagged and tired. Sch is really busy sia. At least there is always something to cheer me on and go on. So glad tt my klass is so interesting.

Celebrate Pala's birthday today. Really made her look like a joke. Haha. Cant write much. Gotta go to bed soon. Veri tired. Better checked up on my supplements b4 i rest.

I wish...

2008-04-20T21:02:00.001+08:00

I wish i had more time. I wish i reverse all the mistakes i hv made. I wish i was smarter. I wish i was stronger(both physically, mentally and emotionally). I wish i could hv her back. I wish i could move on and go fer it. I wish and I wish will nv end.

I guess after today i really wish i had done many diff things. To some extent some things i hv done. I really felt great and glorious. But there r also regrets i hv made. This is life i guess. U gain some and yes, u gotta lose some. I am all prepared fer it. I am ready to pursue my dreams. Like wad Reu said. It's ur choice. Yes, i agree. My choice, either i do it or not. There is no in btw. I believe i will and i mus. Pressure is building i noe. But i hv been fighting an uphill battle fer my passion. And the 2nd uphill battle that i am gonna face, i am ready fer it.

After today's PA race. Thoughts start flooding into me. It really spur me to really let it all out. There r so many things i wish. If i had not seen 'her' in tt kayaking team in tt sch. It wouldn't hv made me think so much.( Fer info, i do not know the 'her' at all. She onli resemble someone. Lol) Seeing mountbatten training so hard and NJC. Really let's me think. So many thoughts flooding in. Really gives me a headache. Argh!

I guess wad is impt is to jus get 2 things done: that is Studies and register fer my Medical Check Up. Lol. Still a bit blur after celebrating Pala and Porky bday. Glad they enjoyed themselves.

Gold Day

2008-04-17T13:33:00.000+08:00

It's Proky Birthday today. And look wad we got fer him. A Hello Kitty Balloon. Haha. We made him carry around the whole sch. And he kept trying to hide and complain. After so long, most of us tt kena disturbed by him has gotten our revenge at last. Haha. Jus look at Zhong Lin retated face. Lol. Looking at it really makes me wanna laugh.

I gotta admit that maybe repeating has really brought many changes into my lives. Happy and sad ones at the same time. I believe tt it was a gd choice and many great things has happened. One great thing was being in 0711. My class has really brought loads of joy into my life. Esp the guys and the three crazy gurls of my class. Haha. They r my greatest buddies tt i hv ever met. Always so steady and ready. And also bringing my passion to a new lvl and meeting many new gd frenz at the same time.

Went to RP after sch to take pics with Nicholas a.k.a the GOLDMAN. Haha. He was painted GOLD. And he looked damn cool. Gotta go do my work soon. I am really sick. Think i taking MC tmr. Argh!

GoldMan!

Busy

2008-04-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

I am quite worried. NXt wk is gonna be busy busy busy. Sux totally, when ur life is bcak to is busiest pace ever. From sch work all the way to commitments u hv promised. Argh! But this is the way to make one succeed. I wonder how true this is. I really hope i could cope.

Went to trg at Bedok Resevoir fer Bedok Puggol CSC. Quite impressed that they did pretty well. Actually enjoyed myself in their trg. Even thought it is not de usual pusing one to its limits and the muscles burning feeling. But it was quite fun trg with them and it feels pretty gd.

I really need to relax a bit. But the problem is there is no time.

Mixed Emo

2008-04-13T13:00:00.000+08:00

Should i laught or should i be worried. I really don noe. I am so confused, but deep down in my heart, there is a part of me that is feeling happy and mocking. Mybe it is wrong to be like that. But de scars that lies on me, has made me both happy and worried. I cant predict the future nor can i foretell any predictions. All i know is that things aren't gonna be the same.

Silver

2008-04-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

Nafa test sux. Kena screwed by the thoopid standing broad jump. Haha. As expected. i cant jump, even CJ say it was difficult to teach. At least i hv gotten my silver and got it over wif.

Went down fer J1's trg. All i can say is that there is still a long long way fer them. Went to meet Paul fer dinner. We went to Holland V fer dinner. Me, him and Ke Li. Haha. Sorta felt a bit weird. Had a good chat. Oh wells. Another wkend wasted. Haix. At least i did all my tutorials. Gotta do my revidion nxt wk sia.

Mr. FM

2008-04-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

Did some studyin today at the sch lib while waiting fer time to past. I am motivated to complete my phy tutorial by tmr nite. I shall make sure i do it. Haha. Funny things happened at gym today. Terrance 'Gay' was freakin late. And Rino decided to give him a name and even recommanded that he buy a new SWIMSUIT and not trunks. He shall be named Mr. FM frm now on. Lol. Terrance 'Gay' a.k.a Mr. FM. The 200m lunges we did nearly killed him. We really train as though we do not wan our lives sometimes. Didn't feel too well. Guess i gotta tuck in early and really make use of tmr time properly.

Argh! I feel like an earthquake. Lol.

April Fool

2008-04-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

Today's April Fool's Day. But nth of tt sort of jking seem to be happening ard. Doubt there is much mood anyway. It's been a few months since he has left. Yet, the memories of him still resurfaces once in awhile. JUs a moment ago, it suddenly did.

I am pretty sure i am veri down, lonely and stressed up at this moment. Like wad he said," U mus be proud of wad u're doin and get ur own style." I realised that without him as a role model or guide, i am becoming nua again. Wtf. The wake up call, let me think, think real hard. I need to find my style of doing things and not blindly follow or get pushed ard. Like wad Cedric said to me, " I mus pick myself up frm the bottom and fight my way up."

I am motivated, fired up once agin. It's been long since i hv found this feeling. I am gonna give in my best, so that i am conquer the challenges, leap over all obstacles. Bro, ur presence in my heart has really woke me up. The woke up call that i hv long waiting is back. I am gonna rebuild myself once more. From today on, the 'old' 'motivated' me is back.

It's pretty weird, since it's quite long since i really blog. Gotta pour out most of my sorrows here. Emotions come and go veri often. And it is one particular one that makes me veri moody. Been hving weird dreams lately. Dreams tt really make me feel that the lonliness is killing me. Fuck! I feel like some nua piece of ****.

I wonder, how i could survive thru my sec 4 and j1 days. My turning pt had got to be last yr. And it totally change my perspective to everything. Some said that i hv matured, some said that it is jus the ppl u mix wif. I guess it is all Bullshit. I believe it is because it really hurts me a lot. And i hv no mood to recover frm this hurt. Or the one tt i had believe was the 'untouchable' , is still the one i am waiting for and thinking if she even noe i am waiting. Sometimes, some jus come and go. I really hope this emotions pass off soon. Or God really has something plan or Fate has already prepare a short treat. Jus wish that this is over with soon.

It is time to bring back an old quote:
"Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.How much you can take, and keep moving forward.That's how winning is done.
Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth.
But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody.
Cowards do that and that ain't you.
You're better than that!"

Wake Up Call

2008-03-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

I am definitely awake. I hv at last awoken. I guess Green Day's Song hv woken me up frm a long dream. Time is getting shorter and i guess now is the time to wake up. I guess is back to the old routine once more, but this time i gotta be harder on myself. It's either now or never. Always remember the GOAL in mind!

So it is set then!

2008-03-07T20:58:00.001+08:00

Motivation. Focus. Work Hard. I need them badly. I need them real bad. After seeing the release of the A level results today. The more i wan to study hard and do badly. After today, i am willing to put tings aside fer the moment jus fer me to focus in my studies.

I hv realised today that some things once u passed it, no matter how badly or how hard u regret. Time is nv gonna turn back and wait fer u to make the changes. I gotta treasure every moment i hv now, fully utilise them and make full use of it.It is no use wasting the time and regret it at the end of the day. Maybe dere r things i like to do, i believe wad Cedric and even Terrance has been telling me. 'If u r able to plan ur time properly, focus in wadever u do. There is nth unachieveable. U gotta work hard towards ur goal.' I wan to be like them and actually i did. I did work hard b4 and hv indeed reqached my goals.

My dreams and goals r set. To be in the top, to make the best out of everyhting. I will not be left behind, because i believe i can. The trials ahead and the hurdles ahead will jus be obstacles i know i can pull thru. I am not alone, i hv many ppl ard supporting me. I blieve i can and i will. After thinking thru today and seeing wad i hv seen, I hv got my motivation. Now it is fer me to find the other 2. It wont be tt hard, as the sight of today will be deeply rooted in my mind. And my goals will always be insight.

F***KED UP!!

2008-02-29T15:38:00.000+08:00

Sch is so sian. Tiring and stressful. Tryin my best everyday to rush my tutorials so i can keep up with lessons. Furthermore, the f**king block test in ard 2 wks. WTF! I don even noe if i hv the time to study fer it.

Been gyming a lot lately. So much so that my wrists and everywhere is beginning to hurt. Sux man! Y cant i maintain a injury free record. Haix. Met a new gym parthner, Terrence Thong. He is my sec sch, Cat High senior and ex-NJC rower. Haha. Been so long since i had ppl pushing me and training so hard wif me in the gym. Really miss those feelings.

I gtg mug b4 i doze off. Haha.

Stayin Alive!

2008-02-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

It's been a long long time since i last wrote in this blog. After CNY, sch has been so busy and stressful that i barely had time to even use the computer.

Actually there is really nth much to blog about also. Haha. Shall keep this blog alive. I really need more 'spice' in my life.

Chinese New Year

2008-02-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

Time pass so fast. The Cinese New Year holiday is over. Haix. Got all the homework stacking up and i hvn't even started yet. Gotta start rushing them soon.

Chinese New Year was really busy. Visiting different houses everyday. Got a really bad headache on the first day. 2nd day was better. But i was too busy to even do some trg. Went out to chill wif classmates on 2nd day of CNY nite. Been so long since we went out tgt. We met at bout 10 plus and went to drink at Candy Bar in Clark Quay. I guess we really drank too much that some of them began sprouting and doin all sorts of stupid acts. Lol.

Went out wif James and Wei Ji on the 3rd day. Also met up wif Nicholas Loo and 'New Friend'. Headed down to airport to send Jana off. The whole holiday really ended veri fast. Haix. How i wish this holiday could last longer.

Anticipation

2008-02-05T00:13:00.001+08:00

Chinese New Year is coming at last. Actually i am quite excited, even thought the festive mood is like diminishing every year, like the LDMR curve in economics. But the feeling of hving a break is so exciting. Mum says that New Year is getting worse each yr, but as it approaches and the effort they put in fer to make everything perfect shows that they still enjoy this wonderful festive season.

Been doing lots of new year shopping lately and spending a lot. Argh! Haha. Really gotta watch myself. Got lots of new clothings and been working out. Time trial is coming, it is going to show where i stand and i am quite worried. Guess i gotta train hard and mug hard. Been slacking a lot lately. Better buck up during this CNY period.

SIck

2008-02-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

Been sick de past few days. Had fever, flu and sore throat. Totally sucks. Furthermore, sch is so busy that i barely had the time to post anything on the blog. Hope the New Year holidays would give me some rest.

Been doing some new year shopping fer the past few days. Everywhere is so crowded. Haha. Jus attended Ikhtia's Bday party. Eat freakin' a lot, so much tt i dont feel so gd now. Acks. Feel tired, think i better go rest. Long day ahead tmr. Sianx. Wish Monday nv comes.

Inspiration

2008-01-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

It suddenly struck me while i was gyming half way. It really show how dragonboat was in my life. I agree that it has indeed made an impact in my life, gaining lots of friends and acquaintance along the way. It is also the sport that spur up the competitiveness in me and also build up a strong mental strength.

I could remember how weak and new to the sport. Yes, i would agree if anyone comes up and tell me now that dragonboat is a team sport. Precisely, because it is a team sport. It makes things even more competitive. It either strengthen you or break you. Firstly, u hv to compete wif all ur teammates. Or u hv to train hard to make sure u do not lose out to them. Secondly, u got to train hard as a team to compete wif other teams. Thirdly, u hv to compete wif fatigue and time, so that u r able to do all ur work. The level of competition in this sport is practically everything and anything. And it is this, tt brought me to wad and hu i am now. I am not gg to let myself down, because i believe in wad Cedric says. U mus love wad u do, no matter how stress or tough, if u wan ot badly, u can do it.

Met a new fren at gym today. And coincidentally, he's Justin's gd fren. Wad a small world. Begin to enjoy training at Bishan gym and meeting all the new frenz. I am really motivated.

I HaTe Phy

2008-01-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

I hate sch. Jus so sick of it. I feel that i am getting nothing out of all the trg. Had 2 tests today and it totally drained my brain juice. And as expected, i FAILED my physics test. Sianx. I really need to mug harder now.

Went to gym today and met Justin after such a long time. He looks different. Shagged and not as tough looking as before. He said he is injured, probably, i really miss the old confident and self motivated him. He told me nteam time trial will be nxt month and i really hope to c him dere, recovered and back to his old self. Seeing him reminds me of Reu.

I really think i should consider hard abt joining nteam. There is no harm going fer the time trial. But commitment in the team is another question. Mom keeps reminding me bout A's this yr and everyone else too. I really need an enlightenment and an answer. I guess i am really nua now without you acting as a motivating role model.

Tests

2008-01-18T15:53:00.000+08:00

Argh! Chem test tmr. And i look at the T.Y.S. It is so demoralising. I really gotta start doin serious and focused mugging. Gotta stop nua-ing and start to be focus. I missed my holidays. Ack!

Jus So Random

2008-01-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

I guess things are very unpredictable. U nv know what is gonna happen. U nv know whether the nxt step or the nxt move u take is the right one or not. It's jus disheartening to see things that u nv expect urself to find out and yet u find out abt it. I am beginning to think that no matter how i try to improve or change, the way things r meant to be, will stay the same and there is no use rushin into anything. I really need an enlightenment.

Gym today at Bishan. Met Daniel and Cedric. Sorta rush thru my workout, time is really a major factor when sch reopens and this really sucks! But i am enjoying the busy schedule and the stress, even though i keep saying i hate it. It is actually keeping me busy and not think so much. It was productive studying with Cedric, he jus keeps asking to study and wont talk to you. And just by looking at him study really motivates you to study too. I think i must really study with him more often.

I think i really need to take one step at a time. The way i am progressing now is quite productive. I guess Cedric advice maybe right, i should really plan my time well and focus on my studies. I believe i can do it. I think there is no point in rushing into anything now. Jus gotta do what is the most impt now and leave those not so impt stuff aside first. Argh. I need a break! This emoing is killing me. Haha.

Surprise

2008-01-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

Visit Reu's parents today. Went over to hand a medal that was given to the nteam during the Standard Charted Marathon. His mom say he loved to collect medals and we went to see his room that we always play his ps3 and even watch anime in. Thought the incident has passed fer so long and he has left us fer so long. But when we went to his house today, really brought back a lot of memories. I really miss the days where we played his ps3 while we wait fer him to cut our hair.Those times will always stay deep in my memories.

At Reu's House

Rush down to Yvonne's house after that. Kai Shuo almost spoil the whole surprise by calling her. Nevertheless, we still manage to surprise her. Got quite a shocked when she suddenly cried. Haha. Overall, guess the surprise party really turned out fine. The food was also veri nice. Sang a lot of Bday songs and the cake was veri delicious. It mus be a really memorable day fer her. Really wish my Bday would be like this.

farewell

2008-01-09T23:34:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with James, Kai Shuo, Rudi and Teng Ming today at an indo restaurant at Lucky Plaza today. It was like a gathering before James is gonna enlist this Fri. Haha. Really sux. Met up in sch, before heading down to Lucky Plaza. TOday sch had CCA Bazaar, met Yvonne and a few other teammates. Yi Yang also enlisting tmr. Poor Yvonne, kena builled cos we kept acting don noe wad is so special bout Sat.

Really had a great time with James and the rest. Went to shop ard b4 heading to Centre Point Mac fer dessert. Haha. And we discussed bout my bday. lol. Sure gonna miss him. Haha. But it's onli 2 to 3 wks b4 i c him again. Take care man!

Sucks!!!

2008-01-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

Today is a BAD day. Totally crazy. Insane to be exact. 5 lectures, 2 tutorials and 1 practical. It is a mind draining day. Before the last lesson even started, the whole class was dragging their feet like mindless zombies to the phy lab. The onli survival of the whole thing was our phy teacher. HE was like the main character in I AM LEGEND, tryin to save the 'World'.

As expected, i could predict how things r turning out to be in NYJC. Luckily i escaped the grasp of being an athlete in the sch tt will nv be recognised. So much fer training beyond the limits fer the sch. I guess one day, all sports athletes will disappear and all tt is left will jus be another Arts sch. Haix. Really let's ppl think where the effort is gg.

I really need a NEW time table. One with more breaks or early dissmal.

Down

2008-01-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

Really had no mood doing homework these few days. Totally sick of this ineffiecient work rate. Furthermore, i am losing de motivation once more. Feel like a weakling.

Talking to her really makes me both sad and angry. But it's been over so long. Clearly, she has really moved on. Telling me to do it too. It looks so easy and seeing her moving on gives me mixed feelings. But it looks so difficult fer me. I hv more things bothering me both mentally and physically. I really hope tt the one appearing in my dreams would feel the same too. Then maybe fer once, i can believe in wad she say.

I need to WAKE UP.

Meaningful

2008-01-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

Sch ended early today. Head down to gym at Bishan. Been training and mugging hard, back to the old style. The question is back fer me to ponder. Should i continue rowing or not? But after all the little chat today, i am really unsure.

"So how long hv u rowed?"

"Bout 3 yrs?"

"Not tired of it?"

"..."

Been chatting with Daniel today. He went to gym at the same time as me. The red lines r wad he said. It really makes me think. This yr is really tough, with all the exams and all the lessons ending veri late. But this does not hinder me from continuing my passion. I hv given up a lot of things fer this passion and i am not willing to give up now. But the promises and resolutions i hv made this yr. Ib elieve i really gotta think twice. Haix. I really gotta think thru it.

Training has been productive and studyin too. But tireness is surfacing and it is really killing me. Really gotta rest well this wkend. I really agree with wad Daniel said today.

"It is all about wad u really want. If u dont know wad u wan, then u got to do something tt u think is realistic to u in the future."
"It's not about what other people can think or do. It's all about what u can do."

I am really glad to hv heard all these from him. Really been great chatting with him. The first wk of this new year has been great. I believe that the rest of the year will be a great one too.

SchooL

2008-01-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

Yupz. Sch has started and the work r stacking. Busy, busy and many more busy. Teachers r scaring and threatening us, using all sorts of method jus to make us study. Haha. Gotta be a new person this year. Consisent in my work. Cant write much. Gotta go do all my homework. Need a break soon. Argh! Back to the boring life once more.

New Year

2008-01-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

Yes. The New Year has arrived. It also marks the end of the holidays and the start of a new school term. Sigh! Piles of homework all not done. Start of another torturous moments.

Went fer countdown wif my best buddy, Victor. Planned to go fer countdown at homeclub, but changed our minds and decided to head down to MoS. Haha. They gave us some weird party accessories. It wasn't very crowded when we first reached. But soon it became veri crowded when the time approaches new year.

Freakin pack and it was totally insane. But the crowd also spur up the mood fer the countdown, esp when the countdown start from the last minute. The music at MoS was also quite gd tt day. Thought it was a veri ex entrance, but it was the first time i enjoy my time at MoS. Hadn't had much gd experience dere. But fer me, i still think Zouk is the best, esp Mambo Nights. Haha. Really missed the times.

After that, we decided to leave early, took last train back to Bishan. And Vic head down to my house fer stayover, where we drink and chat.

Year 2007, a veri eventful and a year full of emotional memories. The year which i gain many things in Life, also a year which i lost many things in Life. It is a year that i will never forget. Coming back from a setback and able to pull through. A year of breakthrough fer myself in the passion that i have. It has really been a nawesome year. Really wish that year 2008, a crucial year, will not not be a better, but another great and awesome year.

Wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

$$$

2007-12-30T13:00:00.000+08:00

The feeling of being broke is killing me. Being stuck at home everyday, knowing that there's sales everywhere and not being able to go out dere and shop like crazy. I feel like a hamster stuck in my poor little cage.

Argh! Cant take it anymore. Homework clearance rate is even slower. Better start to increase my work rate or new year's day will be dooms day fer me. Onli bout 4 days left. The term 'sch reopen' really makes me feel i am like a patient with an incurable disease waiting fer my doomsday to come.

I think i really need to party on new year's eve or i am gonna start to rot and be a 'good' boy when sch starts.

BleaHHHHHH

2007-12-28T21:20:00.000+08:00

I am tired of gyming everyday. I am sick of looking at my homework pile. I am sad that sch is gonna reopen. I feel like BLEAH!!!!

I feel so lethargic training everyday. But the overload seems to show its results. So haapy that the fat percentage machine cant detect my fat, cos the person say my fat percentage is LOW. Haha.

Really hope i can maintain this. I really need to find a club soon.

I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row. I wan to row.

This is how desperate i am. Hope SAFSA is still hving NSF. Haha. I really wish nteam trg resumes soon. I wan to row.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

Had a christmas countdown last night with my NYDB buddies. Before that i went to do some last minute shopping. Sianx. Really spent a lot this year christmas.

Went down to Plaza Sing. Wanted to walk down to Orchard but realising tt everyone was late. We decided to stay in the area to do out countdown. Maybe the way we dressed, no one dared to spray the foam at us. How disappointing.

Went to Yvonne's house. Her ouse is so huge. We played DDR and chatted before i dozed off. Quite an eventful christmas eve. Haha. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!

Bad Day

2007-12-23T15:10:00.000+08:00

Argh! Hate organising gatherings, esp when everyone jus ignores ur ideas and use their own. Wad is the use of askin someone to organise when u dont even plan to use the idea in the first place.

Had a gathering at glasshouse Fish & Co. today. WTF. Planned to hv Bbq at Yi Yang's place in the beginning. Changed to a Turkish Restaurant at Arab Street and in the end, they decided to go to their desired place.

I really feel disheartened and disappointed when these things happen. It is gonna be the last time fer me to organise any outing wif the guys.

1 more wk b4 sch reopens. Gotta arrange an outing wif the SAFSA guys soon, b4 everyone gets busy. Let's hope Christmas outing would be a better one.

Presents

2007-12-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the year again. Christmas session is here. And the is SALES everywhere. Went shopping that day and i noticed almost every store is hving sales.

Got my sis a pair of NUM trackers, if that is wad they called. Going broke jus tryin to think of all the presents to get fer everybody. Haix. Wonder wad presents will i receive this year. Hope i am getting wad i wan fer X'mas this year. Haha. At least gather some of my Chinese New Year's clothings wishlist. Heh.

Wrist is feeling bit weird these few days. Mus be frm the heavy and long lifting sessions. And it is really affecting me. Need it to recover soon. Gotta pumped up b4 sch reopens. I need to find a motivation soon. The feeling of lethargic is coming back. 'Mus not be NUA!!!'. Need to find a club soon and hope nteam is still gonna resume trg soon. In the meantime, I better do my homework. Need to start being consistent in my work.

AHHHH!!!

2007-12-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

I hate liars. I hate ppl giving me empty promises. I always knew it's time to move on. But there will always be this small tiny part that always say no. I guess there is no point in hiding frm the veri beginning. Dexter was right. I should hv believed him and not hv so much hope. Yup. It's time to move on.

It's really sad when u find out things urself. Today i really did. I felt pissed and disappointed. Really felt like slamming the chair right into the PC. But hu cares. At least the truth is out. Gotta control myself frm screaming out tt 'B' word.

Had a great work out today. Swimming and gyming. Been veri productive these few days. Argh! But the muscles ache and the wrist pain still aren't going away. Gotta taper down soon when sch reopens. Jus abt 1 and half wks left. Gotta Push!

Turkey

2007-12-19T12:18:00.000+08:00

Oh man! I wan a big fat turkey fer Christmas. So wan one. But it is too freakin ex.

Christmas is coming. So many things to buy. Gotta save money. Save money. Haix.

Blessings

2007-12-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

A totally mixed emotions these few days. The past 2 days has been a veri blessed day. A fresh new start to a whole new wonderful journey.

Went down fer Juniors trg today. I believe things r changing and i do not really like the sight of it. Bad feeling. An instinct i guess. It's time to back out i guess. Should i continue to pursue my passion. I really don noe. I am veri confused and it's getting me moody.

Been gyming a lot b4 sch reopens. Gotta really make the decisions b4 sch starts. HOMEWORK! I gotta start soon. Better stop slacking i guess. Time to WAKE UP U NUA ****!!!

My last task b4 sch reopens is to visit u guys and maybe hv a chat wif all of u. I really miss u all. COntinue guiding me ya?[ I hope u all r reading it frm up dere] And to the SAFSA seniors tt rowed wif me, i noe all of u r gonna ORD. Take care and enjoy ur Uni life, don 4get the young one here. Hope we could all meet up soon. I noe this sounds wrong, but i kinda miss u guys.

$7.11

2007-12-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

Rushed down to class chatlet today. After promising everyone that i would be down. It's been so long since i last saw my class.

It's really great to meet up with the class after so long. When i reached it was already evening and everyone was starting to prepare fer BBQ.

Helped atart the fire and didn't really cook much. The rest of the class was veri enthu in cooking fer all of us. Poor Kelly had stomach cramps and look real bad.

But not many stayed over which was veri disappointing. Onli 4 guys stayed over. Lol. Luckily we mamage to persuade Charis and Kelly to stayed over. So everything wasn't that bad.

We played Black Jack and i won $5. Guess it was their blessing. Then most of the guys went down fer 2nd round of BBQ. It was already near 2 AM when they came back.

I was really too shagged to eat wif them. Went to sleep b4 them. It was really great to meet up with the class. Even got a pretty weird class tee. Schools gonna start soon, guess we r all gonna meet up veri often soon.

The Dream

2007-12-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

I slept really late last nite and had a memories of the past few months jus flash back. It's been more than a week since i walked the last jorney wif them.

The dream i had last nite showed me how much i really missed both of them. Reu and Chee, even thought i don noe u fer veri long. But in the short period of time tgt as teammates and buddies. I hv bonded deeply with the both of u.

I could still remember the times we go Mambo and the times we train tgt in the gym and rowing. Memories of times spent tgt jus keep flashing back...

To Reu,

thought i nv said these to u. But u r always like a big brother lookin after me. I could remember telling u how i was impressed and how u r a motivation to me when i first raced with SAFSA during the Singapore Dragonboat Festival. Meeting SAFSA in the finals and wishing i could be part of a strong team has always been my dreams. Frequently seeing u in gym and doing all the heavy weights sort of pushed me to train harder and hoping my team in my NYDB days, could grow strong and powerful jus like the SAFSA team under u. After stepping down frm NYDB, u brought me to SAFSA dragonboat where a whole new journey began for me. It was also the point where u took care of me and share ur experiences wif me. A BIG BROTHER, yes u r, U will always be in my heart NINJA!

I cant take candid pics of u anymore. Still remember u calling me 'Asshole' and 'Noob' fer doing so.

To Chee Wei Zheng,

I remember walking into first SAFSA training and i first saw u. U seem cold and not friendly. I was kinda scared and quiet too in the beginning. But after a few trainings and Reu introductions, things soon change. Attachment and preparation fer my first major race Regatta, makes us bond stronger. Mambo nites fer Chian farewell and many more and the singlet u got fer us frm Thailand will always stay in my memories. I still remember how u always battle with Allen and how he always make fun of u. But u always pushed hard fer trgs and at the same time motivating us to push harder. I will nv forget how u ask me to go for whatever i wan, like how u brought me into Nteam and always reminding me to study hard. U r like more than jus a close fren, u r like a buddy, a motivator and a guardian. A born leader and that is how i will always remember you.

Ur cheerful smile and ur 'WTH' i will nv forget.

I promised i will study hard and not disappoint both of u. I will train hard and not be nua like wad u said, Reu. I also learnt to treasure all those around me, esp my parents and close frenz. Like what everyone says, i will stay strong. Both of u will always be in our hearts and i now know dere r two of u lookin after not just me, but all of us. Rest in peace.

Reu and Chee, u will always be remembered.

In Life, every ending is jus a new Beginning...

Rest in peace...

Milkshake

2007-12-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Hvn't went clubbing fer veri long. Jus to amend wad i written on my last post. Wasn't blaming the councilors. They were nice to help us negotiate. And i thank them fer that. Was unhappy with the club and their rules. They were not flexible enough. Yeah.

Clubbing jus bring back memories. The days at Beat HomeClub and Mambo Nitez jus really makes me think about them. It's difficult to move on and forget all the gd times we spent tgt as a team. At least when i look back now or if i ever go clubbing again i would always remember the good times we all hv as a team.

Went MOS last nite with Zhong Lin, Jia Bing, Eric, Dexter, Ikhthia, Qing Yi, Bao Qi, Cheryl and Kai Ling. Veri crowded, guess ZoukOut didn't affect them much. Since the veri bad experience at MOS, didn't think it would make much gd experience. Indeed, I didn't really enjoy myself. Probably because wasn't really in the mood. Should hv gone to HomeClub instead. Guess Home and Zouk will always be my fav.

Everything seems fine till the last part. I would like to apologise if anything bad has happened or any cock ups. Cos i was bit high and tired, futhermore wasn't in much of a mood too. But hope all of u really enjoy urselves. It was a rare chance to be clubbing wif all of u. Yupz. =)

Took a cab back wif Dex. It was after a long time b4 i got to chat wif him. I really missed a lot of ppl, and hope to meet up wif everyone. Esp my class 0711 peeps and many more. Gotta find time and meet up wif them soon b4 trg resumes and b4 sch starts.

I believe i hv to make time out and spend it more wif my family. Hvn't been spending enuff tme wif them. Let's hope the choice i am gonna make is a correct one, i dont wan to be hurt badly again. A lot of events has happened this year. But i believe that they will always be by my side and blessing me.

Prom

2007-12-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

Well, as expected and hardly a surprise. NYJC prom was not as wonderful as expected. The fun really came when u meet up wif old frenz and seeing all the formal dress ups. Guess this will last as a memory.

What happened after prom was jus stupid. Couldn't decide wad to do or where to go. Lol. Areana was bullshit. Cant believe they were so ineffiecient. They tried to uphold a gd image. Still doesn't noe hu they r messing wif. I guess tt the reason y we nv did went dere.

Well, a msg from Chian:
Dear friends of Wei Cheng,
My name is Kai Hong, a close friend and dragonboat team-mate of the late Wei Cheng. I am sure by now, you have heard of the tragic accident in Cambodia 3 weeks ago.
makeURL("(http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/314549/1/.html)","eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==");
(http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/314549/1/.html)I am honored to have had the opportunity to row with Wei Cheng in both SAFSA as well as the National Team. He was a dedicated paddler who worked hard to reach his goals. This eventually earned him a place in the National squad, despite his lack of prior experience in the sport.While participating actively in dragonboat, Wei Cheng dedicated much of his remaining time to giving tuition in order to contribute to the family's income. From a tender age, Wei Cheng and his brother, Wei You, have been raised single handedly by their mother, who is currently sourcing for a job with the help of relatives. Wei You recently re-took his 'O' Levels and is hoping to enter a local Polytechnic with his grades. He will be working part-time to bear some of the family's financial burden, which his brother had so painstakingly bourne these few years.I understand that most of you have probably attended the recent wake and have already given "white money" to the family. However, with the "season of giving" just around the corner, I'm trying to arrange for a second round of donations for the family, hoping to offer what aid we can to help mother and son tide over this extremely difficult time. No obligations here. If you feel that you have given as much help as you could, it is ok.After some discussions with Wei Cheng's cousin, we have jointly decided that cheques would be the most efficient method of facilitating these donations. Even if you are unable to write a cheque, I hope you can approach your parents and see if they would like to extend their help in this. My team-mates and I are organising this to provide an avenue for those who wish to extend their aid to the Chee family, but do not know where and how.You will have my assurance that all donations will be documented, and that the FULL proceeds will be handed to Mdm Chee. We are doing this for we believe that Wei Cheng, being the filial son that he was, would not want his brother and mother to have to bear the weight of his departure.For those who would want to donate a substantial amount to the family, please either reply to this message,contact me at "kee_heng@hotmail.com" or 96461072. Details on how to donate will be diclosed to you privately. I hope to be able to collect all donations during the 3rd week of this month, which is 17th to 22nd December 2007.I thank you for reading this, and hope we can all do our part to help the family.
Yours Sincerely,Chian Kai Hong

Hope all those hu read this would help. Really miss u guys.

Don keep, mus share

2007-12-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

Went fer cox job today. Rush down frm sch gym wif Derek to realise we were veri early. I met Kelward at old SDBA.

It hurts really bad when ur close frenz leave u. It hurts too to see ur frenz sufferin in silence and not willing to say it out. I know he is hurt and he is in pain. But seeing it and not being able to do anything makes me feel worse.

Yes, i agree that it still hurts somethimes. Memories jus flows back, but we jus gotta move on. Time does not wait and reality sinks in too fast. I jus wan him and everyone to know that ur families and frenz r always dere fer u. Don keep all the pain to urselves, cos ppl around u will be hurt too.

I kinda agree wif Kai Hong and think that there are now 5 gurdian angels lookin after us. They will always live in our hearts and be by our sides forever and ever. After watching 'Enchanted' tonite, i agree that in every story no matter the twists, there will always be a happy ending.

I hope this quote can help calm those still hurt and sad.
'Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.'

Moving On

2007-12-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

Walking into Bishan Gym is nv gonna be the same. It was where i first met him. It was we trained tgt. The place seemed to be filled with memories. I remembered how i was afraid of him in the gym. I did not know much about dragonboat. A noob then as he call. And that was how we became frenz.

He used to be doin heavy weights and showing off his pull ups at the pull up bar. It was onli in June when he intro me to SAFSA dragonboat, which made us closer. It was also how i met Wei Zheng. Bishan gym, swimming complex and the Park. PLaces we used to train tgt, enjoy ourselves and bonded tgt.

Stepping into the gym today, staring at the Lats machine, the pullup bar and the Smith machine brought sadness to me. I know i mus be strong, but those were the machines Reu always used and how he trained me with in the beginning and how i had spot him while he bench. The bench press machine reminded me of Chee, how he had pushed himself b4 gg to Bangkok. Training today after a long wk, i know i mus push hard and not be a noob like how Reu always call me and how Chee always reminded us to train hard and how he was always a role model.

I know now i mus start to change, move away frm my bad habits and study hard and train hard. The advices of Chee and Reu will always stay rooted in my heart. And both of u will always live in my heart.

...

2007-12-02T15:00:00.000+08:00

It was really painful at the last moments. It was undescribable pain. Pain in the heart, pain everywhere. Walking the last journey with them was all i could do as a friend. All of u will always live in my heart. I will never forget all of u. In life, every ending has a new beginning. May u all rest in peace.

With love, YiHe

REST IN PEACE

2007-11-26T15:00:00.000+08:00

Life is full of many unexpected happenings. Life is so unpredictable. The news of the Cambodia incident hit me so hard that i felt my heart sinking when i heard the news. My frens that i hv met not long ago. Laughed and joked tgt not long ago, had dinner and even gym tgt not long ago. Leaving me in an instant.

Reuben, Jeremy, Chee, Boon San and Stephen. 5 great rowers and gd people jus left this World in an instant. Yes. It is difficult to accept such a fact. Nobody wish this to happen.

Reuben was a great fren i met. He brought me to SAFSA dragonboat. Introducing me to many gd frenz and bring dragonboat to a whole new level fer me in a short time.

Chee brought me to national team and took care of me in SAFSA. He was a great fren that i will never forget and will be missed. He was always dere fer trg, guiding us and pushing us.

In Nteam, Boon San guided me. Even thought i did not know him much. But the short time we had, he guided me a lot. I remembered him telling me over lunch that it is impt to study. I will keep this in mind.

Jeremy and Stephen, thought i don noe u well. But the few times we chatted, really had a great time. U are always friendly and dere to help out.

It is hard to accept, difficult to write this post. But i noe i had to, I will miss all of u dearly and u will all always stay in my heart. The gathering of Team SAFSA soon was not the way i had imagined at all.

Gatherings?

2007-11-24T12:00:00.000+08:00

Hoho... Got my new phone at last. Haha... Veri long since i last post. Now that the nteam has gone to Cambodia, dere is no more nteam trg. Haix... but the time trials is coming soon, gotta start trg.

Haha... Gonna hv a cohesion session wif my nydb guys after so long. Haha... Time passed so fast... A's has ended liao, wonder when will be the nxt time i row wif the SAFSA guys. Haha... Gotta meet up soon guys!!

Wheee

2007-11-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

My phone is coming on thur!!! Called and complain to Singtel. At least they r fast and efficient in handling this stuff... was still worried when my phone would come. Needed a new phone badly.

Had coxing today... Great experience and had a really great time. It was so long since i had worked wif my teammates. Haha... One group of frenz gg off to Cambodia then another grp of frenz come back. Gonna miss the guys tt r gg off... But most importantly de most important is the gifts they bring back. Haha...

Really shagged today... Found the cap i need fer grad nite fer $18... Shall get it soon... Haha... Gotta train hard... Motivation is raging in me again!!

=(

2007-11-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

I need a new phone badly. The phone i am using is torn into pieces. Haix... Wonder y Singtel is so low in effiency. The phone i ordered thru faxing has not even given me de reply. The sales consultant said would call me the nxt day but did not even call. Hope the person call soon or i am gonna complain.

Joined my juniors fer training today. Haha.. Really miss the crazy SAFSA trainings. A's is almost ending so many seniors and my teammates came back. Haha... Went out wif my teammates fer the first time after so long. Watched 'Bee Movie' wif Yvonne, Yi Yang, Carol and Kailing. Haha... Miss de old outings we used to hv.

Hope my phone comes soon...

SICK!

2007-11-13T14:00:00.000+08:00

I am falling sick again... Can feel the heatiness in my body and the gg to hv sore throat feeling, it is as thought the sore throat would erupt any moment. This feeling totally sucks, jus when i started to enjoy training, another blow comes.

Haha... Rushed through gym in sch today b4 gg to work. Damn tiring, esp when u r feeling sick. Gotta perserve. Haha... Hu ask me to spend so much... Need to save up b4 can enjoy. Really cant wait fer A's to end, really miss my buddies and my nydb teammates. Cant wait to enjoy wif u guys man!

Haha... Kinda miss the SAFSA dragonboat trg too... I guess iam getting old... Miss so many things. Haix.. better force down a jug of water down my throat... sobz... Hope there is a miracle

Shagged out

2007-11-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

Had training wif nteam fer the first time today. Used the heavy yellow boat fer trg. Haha... Guess i need to train up my muscular endurance soon... Can barely last the 4 sets of 9min row. But trg was tiring than normal training.

I had nv felt so gd fer so long... Think i am getting back my trg momentum.

Zouk Outing

2007-11-10T17:27:00.000+08:00

I guess 2 wks of no clubbing has made many felt uneasy. Imagine ur hormones raging and u totally cant conrol urselves and hv to do 'it'. This is how we r like now, we cant control ourselves frm not gg to club. Haha... But at least it is a great bonding session.

Yesterday Zouk was really fucked up. It was like an unplanned meeting, where almost everyone frm our team and even nteam was present, even thought we did plan it b4 hand.

It was veri crowded and as expected by Allen a bad night, where u can c hormones raging and desperate men charging towards any ladies they could find. I remember some bastard pushing me away so that he could dance with the girl. It was really boring and meaningless to stay dere.

Luckily i met Kelward and we went over to Zouk hall, even thought the music was not really to my type, trance music. But at least it was kind of enjoyable dere. haha... Reuben wore a scarf with a comfortable material. But he 4got that when ppl get high his scarf will get him into loads of trouble.

The last part was enjoyable when u dance with ur frenz and totally ignoring wad's happening ard u. I guess Mambo Night is still the best. Maybe Darren and Justin made the right choice to go Home Club. But still i really enjoyed myself.

Work Work Work

2007-11-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

I hv nv been so tired in my life. I really admire ppl that hv the energy to work and continue their gym routine after work. I find it veri tought to cope wif both.

Now that the dragonboat season is over, i am feeling the lose of momentum to train hard. Haix... How i miss those days when i was in NYDB, pushin myself so that i wont lose out to the others and be one of the top athletes in sch. After NYDB was SAFSA Dragonboat, where i was brought to a new lvl of trg.

Haix... I need a motivation. I better find one soon.

Boredom once more

2007-11-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

Regatta is over and this marks the end of the season for dragonboat. It also marks the end of my short but an amazing journey with SAFSA dragonboat. I am sure got enjoy the times we hv trg hard tgt and at the same time enjoyin ourselves during those team bonding sessions we hv.

Regatta was really an eye opener fer me. With numerous crash or capsize happening during the race. Even thought team SAFSA didn't really perform up to the standard we should. But i really enjoy myself. Like the saying " It is not the results, but the process that really rewarding." I gotta agree with it.

After trg with SAFSA Dragonboat, not onli did i gain more knowledge and experience about dragonboat, i also met a lot of people doing the same sport. It was indeed a short but meaningful experience with Team SAFSA.

I am really gonna miss u guys and miss those enjoyable trg we hv tgt and let's hope our friendship do not stop here. Haha... We should hv a farewell soon, even thought it maybe sad, but let's enjoy ourselves as a team fer one last time.

MarchE

2007-11-03T14:00:00.000+08:00

Had a last outing tgt wif the rest of the guys from team SAFSA Dragonboat... Tmr is the race, let's hope we put in our best and show other teams what we r made of.

Gotta rest soon... Damn shagged, even thought all i did today was eating and shopping. Haha...

Say Goodbye

2007-11-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

This wkend is River Regatta, last race before with Team SAFSA b4 we all go our separate ways. It is really weird, i faced the same feeling during the A div June race, where i bid farewell to my NYDB team.

I nv expect myself to get to clique so well wif the guys in Team SAFSA, i still remember when i first joined the team and did nt noe any of them. I was like so quiet and did not dare to speak out to anyone. Did trg as i was told and rowed wif them fer the 1st time in Master's Series. Tt was the stepping stone fer me to noe them better.

But ater tt came the bad news of Team SAFSA NSF joining the commandos team. But those were the proccess tt i went thru in SAFSA dragonboat, it did not hinder me from bonding wif the guys in the team.

I learn from both my experience in NYDB and SAFSA DB tt to bond well wif the team, u mus always take the first step to noe the ppl in the team better. My journey thru NYDB was not as smooth, it took me more than half yr b4 i got to noe the team well and got the whole team bonded tgt. But when the sweetest part came, the sad ending soon came into the story and it was time fer us to say gdbye to each other and NYDB.

I really agree wif wad Chee say, it is always sad to say gdbye. Jus when the team gets tgt and train hard fer River Regatta ( even got night trg somemore), after this wkend it maybe hard fer us to meet again. I m really gonna miss this great grp of wonderful guys.

To the guys in SAFSA dragonboat, Chee, Chian, Darren, Justin, Allen, Chun How, Leonard, Kelvin, Sherwyn and Reuben, i wish u all the best in whatever u all do and hope we can remain in contact even if we r not a team anymore. Let's not 4get the night trg deal tt we still hv and let's give our best fer this wkend's race.

Internet

2007-10-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

My internet is screwed up... DOn noe wtf is wrong wif it... Auto disconnect... Now i cant even use Live Messanger or play battleship in peace...

My finger wound does not seems to look gd... Hope it heals by this wk... Last wk left to Regatta... Really hope that all the race sets and all the effort put in by everyone can be seen this wkend... Today race sets show others what Safsa is made of...

Guys Night out!

2007-10-26T00:53:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night was not as gd as i tot... Zouk is still the best... Reu brought us to Plush... The place was great, music and the ambiance is veri nice, but it jus lack de crowd. Allen was complaining abt it... But he got an owning streak in pool.

Luckily drinks at plus was cheap... So Kelward, Reu, Jus and me stayed on to drink at Plush b4 heading down to zouk... De music was not as gd as expected fer the nite... Quite a boring nite...

But Phuture was not crowded as how it usually was, which was great, could c some fat ass grinding the wall... WTF!! Haha.. But really had a gd chill out wif de guys.

Some pics of us:

OverLoad?!

2007-10-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

Training is a killer... I am so shagged that the onli thing that interest me is to go home and sleep...

Onli 2 wks left... gotta train hard... 1 wk to push and i believe i can do it... Bring back da Old Me!!!

Masters Series.

2007-10-21T22:06:00.001+08:00

Had Master's Series Competition today... I couldn't believe it... We onli had 12 rowers... While other teams had all their rowers and getting ready to kick some ass...

What was worse is that no one in the team seems to look worried... everyone looks so calm, with onli a 'wth', 'omg' and 'how?' coming from some ppl...

Nobody really bothered much... Onli Adrian going around borrowing ppl... So fer 1st heat.. We had 14 rowers on the boat... And this didn't stop us... We showed them what SAFSA was made of and got 1st in the heats with 14 rowers!

In te semis... We got more rowers, but because there were onli 12 of us... we didn't do as gd but managed to squeeze into minor finals... And we gave it all on the last set and did our best with no regrets...

It was really like the movie 300, we had onli 12 gd rowers against other teams with 20 rowers... But we still give our all and this shows that we can do it...

Onli 2 wks to Regatta... It is gonna be last race fer most of us... Guys, Let's push and show ppl wad we r made of... Let's light up the flame that has been extinguished fer most of us... Let's bring back the burning desires that u all once had... I believe that we can do better than this...

Rushed

2007-10-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

Argh! Fri cant go trg... thx to some promise i made to help my classmates fer PW... Hope it is worth it and really wish they appreciate it...

Rushed down to gym today to do some workout b4 gg to help NYDB... Didn't realise coxing was so tiring... Totally shagged now...

I hope i can bring coxing to a nxt lvl... Got a job to teach Dragonboat at last... Really hope it works out ... So excited to see that the hard work has paid off...

Injuries

2007-10-16T23:29:00.001+08:00

I hate injuries... Got some weird pain on my left shoulder... Damn sianx... Masters this wkend... Hope the pain goes off soon....

At the moment jus gotta train hard and maintain...

Bored and Tireness!!!

2007-10-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

Training everyday is really a killer... I can really feel my body pushing to the max... But the feeling of training hard is really shiok...

I am so glad that my coxing skills hv improved... Went to help out wif training fer NYDB today at SDBA... I jus gotta work on my commands... I am glad that my help was appreciated...

I can really tell that some of the juniors want to do well badly... They r giving their best but yet they do not understand y the boat is not improving... Yes.. I agree 3 days of continuous rowing is tiring... But it does not affect ur trg....

Like my team, they suffer frm the same problem... Most come fer trg without a purpose... They do not noe y they come fer trg... They jus train fer the sake of training... While those that hv the desire... Would push themselves to the limits and give it their best...

What the juniors' team lack is someone to correct their stroke... My team were veri aware of our strokes and constently correcting each other's strokes... Which was something the juniors r lacking... I c some juniors rowing hard but inefficient and they jus don understand y... I think it is time fer them to hv some stroke reflection...

The pacing wif SP and mountbatten was quite horrible... We could hv beaten SP... But it doesn't matter... I believe my juniors hv the standards to bring NYDB to a whole new level... they jus need a bit more time and hv a bit more hunger and desire fer it...

Met up wif my best buddy at last... Po Han came over today... Let's hope tmr is less tiring...

Passion

2007-10-14T00:04:00.001+08:00

Rowing was horrible esp when u r rowing negative... What makes it worse is who is beside u... Argh! Had a terrible experience... Hope things would get better soon...

What is dragonboat... It is jus a team sport, unlike canoing or kayaking... Dragonboat requires a lot of teamwork...

It requires the people rowing in the boat to work together, not jus training hard... but bear the passion of dragonboating... But as time progress, people will start to lose the passion and this will start pulling the person away from the team, then from the sport...

I recalled seeing ppl joining dragonboat fer various reasons... Esp after coming to Safsa(NSF)... But within all these reasons... I see a passion in them wanting to row their best... Hving the hunger and desire to win... But this desire and hunger was soon broken down... Due to various events that soon occured...

When the team starts lsoing their fire... It is like seeing the downfall for a team... I recalled being with my team in NYJC... My beloved guys team that i will nv forget... The passion fer dragonboat that builds up in us from nth... It brought the sport to a totally different level... Had to thank Ah Hee fer being such a wonderful coach!!

But what prevented us from succeeding was that time was short and some that had no passion in the sport prevented it... But i do not balme them... It's not easy to get everybody to love something... Like how hard it is fer everybody to eat the same food... people hv their preferences... But a team will still succeed even if not everybody has passion but hv a reason to push themselves to do well fer the gd of the team...

To my NYJC teammates... Study hard guys, the A's is fer u to own, Remember the code[F*** it!] And to the Safsa(NSF), thx fer the wonderful moments i hv wif u guys... Don lose the passion fer dragonboat, bring it back guys! Onli 3 wks left to Regaratta... Let's end the journey of dragonboating in ur NS days tgt with a gd and happy ending... Let's give it our best and hv no regrets... Xiao Di here is wif all of u all the way... Sorry Leonard and guys fer being weird today... i am really not feeling myself today...

The Long Night

2007-10-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes studying too much can drive ppl to do crazy stuff... Like last nite for example... At Jana's house... We filmed 4 videos of 'Documentry about Raymond' with Raymond acting as though he is beast living in the jungle... Shall upload it to Youtube soon...

Went Mambo nite with the Safsa guys... It was supposed to be a farewell fer Chian who is leaving fer India soon... Got ps-ed by Reuben cos he couldn't finish his project... Argh! Wanted him to sign me in free.. Haha...

In the end, Leonard, Chian, Allen, Wei Zheng and me went... It was really a crazyy nite.. Now i understand the meaning of Phuture... Lol...

Totally Shagged out... Barely caught any sleep after reaching home... Woke up at 9 so that i could meet Jia Jia and Jana fer breakfast...

It was really a long day... totally shagged myself... Last day of fun... Doomsday tmr... Man! Wish it was nv here... but still i gotta face what i gotta face tmr... I know i can do it!!!

Shake ur butt HARD!!

2007-10-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

Did a super weird dance fer Tilda's Birthday today. Hoho... It looks embarrassing esp when it is done in public... Actually i think as the bday girl she felt worse... Haha...

Well... talk to Jia, Nana and Gland... And it is back to the same topic bout life again... I really agree wif Jia y do ppl hv to be so harsh on Life and y do we hv to talk bout Life so fast?

Wad choice do we hv... Aftr leaving the pure and innocent age of sec sch and coming to the JC... I grown up so much in my thinking... I do not look wad is b4 me anymore... Sch has taught that i hv to look further or face de consequences...

I really regretted not come to my senses earlier... If onli i hv been thinking and matured more last yr... wouldn't hv suffered so much. But it is true reality is cruel... If u don keep up wif the fast pace of life... Life is gonna OWN u and they r gonna charge so fast u cant catch up... Jus like dragonboat race... U gotta train veri hard mentally and prepare fer any upcoming race both physically and mentally...

From dragonboat... my beloved passion... I hv learn that to be the best... u not onli gotta train hard physically but mentally too... I believe that the solution to such a cruel truth is to jus keep up wif the fast pace or life... Or bite on to its tail and nv let go...

Bored...

2007-10-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

The exams are over and now i am jus plain bored... while the others r either rushing fer A's or PW... I practically hv nth to do... At least i am able to give nearly 100% focus fer dragonboat and to think of how to set up my website....

The problem with being unattached is that u hv no purpose to do anything... Like how i am feeling now... When i hv nth to do... i really hv nth to do... U r jus a single person tryin to find something to do... Looks weird to shop alone and u jus wanna get away from books... So the best thing to do is to SLEEP!!! Haha... at least i am tryin to keep myself occupied...

Maybe this is a sign fer me to meet up with old buddies or get a job... haix... Life's is really tough as u grow older... Lookin at the O's students... They r still a bit immature compared to us... I really agree with Gland on this... They r jus lookin at wad is at sight but not thinking further... Fer us... We gotta think about our future, how is our lives gonna be like and this really pushes u to the limits...

Life's tough i gotta admit... but this is wad everyone has to go thru and i believe i can do it... Had a great chat with my best teammate and pal, James today. Really makes me think... R we wasting our life away, I believe i didn't waste any this yr(esp the 2nd half) and i really hope this fri i would do well, as i given my best effort and mug real hard fer th promos... But something James said struck me... It is fer the person to judge fer himself whether wad he doin is right or wrong, we may hv our opinions, but it may not be wad the others r thinking... I really hope tt my teammates that r not doing well, really work hard fer this last 20 days, i believe u all can do well fer A's!! Jia you, Guys!!!

Haha... I am still pissed with James... I guess ur 7pm prediction is wrong... Maybe we r jus thinking too much.. Haha...

Numb...

2007-10-07T00:09:00.000+08:00

It is try to enjoy at last... Taking time off the books fer a while... Haha... Had trg with the Safsa guys today b4 going shopping fer some clothings...

Went to celebrate Nana's birthday... She really ordered a lot of food and had loads of drinks.. Really feeding me fat... Had a really great time seeing them do crazy stuff. Later, i went to meet Reu, Justin and Darren to go to HOME to club.

The music dere was not bad... Had a really fun time... The best thing was looking at Darren dance on stage... haha... Really tired out my legs tt it aches without even walking... Clubbing really was a great leg workout... Barely could keep my eyes open when i went home...

Ending

2007-10-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

WooHoo!!! The exams ended at last... HAd the last paper Phy today.. It was reasonably okay except fer the data analysis qn. Now everyone noes why tsunami killed so many ppl. Always remind urself u will need a tsunami alarm. Haha...

Had trg with juniors, Derrick, Brandon, Solomon and Zheng Hui. Wootz!! Really feel like an old man tryin to run after so long. Really tired my self totally. It was really energy draining... Haha... But it was great to be back in the gym...

Had lunch at j8 and plan fer tmr... Hehe... So packed tmr... Hope i can survive thru all activites and not be a zombie on Sat... Wahaha... Went to the lib and met Yuai and Nicholas... Felt really xtra dere... except to suan everyone... Haha... Then saw those bunch of F*** RI boys.. really fume me seeing them...

Let's hope i survive trg tmr... Time fer some photos of the Library gang...

Yuai and Christine