Time?

Time heals all wounds. Does it? I am not sure about this after Sunday. It's been exactly a year, since the dragonboat incident happened. After the memorial service, it made me really think a lot.

It feels as thought all these has never happened. I feel as thought i hv just met Reuben in the gym and even trained with him. He has always been a source of motivation. A tall and well built guy, definitely threatening, esp if u r new to the gym. But after knowing him, u will realise he is like a gentle giant. He was someone who has dreams and really inspiring. I would remember him, motivating me each time after trg, in various ways to make sure i push hard in trg and not neglect my studies. He was also very protective, being new and young to the sport. He always tell me not to give up and train hard like a 'ninja'(His fav phrase, probably his obsession with his ps3 games). Thought a year has passed, the service made me realise that it is so difficult to let go, all the brilliant hair cuts he has given, the motivating speeches and his smile that is in every pic. These are memories that will never be forgotten.

As the saying goes, time heals all wounds, does it? Or does it make it hurts more?

It's over?!?

At last, the most expected moment is almost here. The A's are ending and freedom is just a step away. There are so many plans that i hv, yet so many things i worry. To make things even spicier, i am enlisting on Jan 7. Haha. Wad short time i hv left.

A's was not as perfect as expected, did made a few fumbles here and there. What's done is done, just move on. Just hope that everything is gonna be fine. Found the inner spirit in me and i believe it is time i need to do a lot of stuff after A's.

I really wish i hv the courage to move on and do a lot of things. Well, just like the bucket list ( I am not dying!), i gotta make a list of to do's soon, before i enlist and striking them out one by one. Haix. Just hope the most impt one will be a big FAT TICK!!

London

The feeling of going to the airport is both exciting and saddening. Everything i go to the airport, it always gives me the feeling of how great it's gonna be if i can go overseas. But usually it is jus to send someone off. And tt's very very sian, esp it is ur best buddy that u are sending off.

Sent Terrance off last night. And indeed he cried. Haha. It's sad, now that i hv no more gym buddy and gyming alone once again. But i am glad he is gg off to further his studies. Hope to meet him soon nxt yr, if he still remembers his frenz. Haha.

Off to mugging again. Argh!

Bitch!

Woah. F1 is really cool! Too bad i didn't go down to watch it. Haha. Anyway, studying is more impt now. Can't fail at the last moment.

Failing and falling once and again. My life is really full of ups and downs. I need more ups. Looking at some photos really drives the anger in me. I must learn to control my emotions. Just like the Jedis. I must not let emotions interfer in my affair. Lol. (Hardcore fan of Star Wars) Haha. Pity i cant be like the Sith. Haha.

"The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side." Yoda

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."Yoda

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." Yoda

I must conquer the fear and move on. Believing in myself. Thought the dark side is tempting, but i know i mus follow the right path for now. Haha. It is studying and studying. Till the end of A's. Haix. I hope something good comes into my life soon.

Yoda my idol!

EMO!!!

"Regret for wasted time is more wasted time"
Mason Cooley, O magazine 2004

What is there to regret when you realise that all the efforts you put in have come back to zero. Just like the unstable economy that struck the World a few days ago. People's hard earned money and all the investment and hopes they have, shattered in a spilt second.

If i continued to blame myself, blame those around me, blame my surroundings and blaming everything. It is just wasting more time. Picking myself up and keep fighting, that is the best solution.

Met up with Paul and Dexter on Saturday and we went to have lunch together. I realised that i have been finding excuses, been finding reasons to escape reality. Probably the reason i am not doing well now is not that i can't do it and i desperately need tuition. Probably i do, but that maybe not be the solution.

I realise 2 things that i need the most after talking to Paul and Dex, "Focus" and "Belief". Focusing on what you are studying and concentrating on whatever you are learning, will help me save more time than waste them. "Belief" is when you believe in what you are doing is right and never give up. This is what that brings results.

"The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot." Michael Altshuler

Time is someting that i am able to control. Time does not wait, time does not stop, time keeps moving and it is how fast i move so that i am not left behind. I was shocked that Terrance is leaving next Wednesday. Time really flies! Meeting him was a blessing and i am glad i have met such a good buddy. He must be feeling frustrated and confused. Being excited about going to UK to study and not being able to let go of all his friends in here.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." Mark Twain

I am scared of the exams, scared of being a signle person, scared of not doing well, I fee like a coward and a loser at times. I thank my family and my good friends around me for encouraging me and motivating me. Finding solutions to problems can only be done, if i am ready to face it directly. The courage to face it, fighting my fears, has to be done by myself and solved by myself. This is life and it is only going to get worse as i grow older. Sitting in the MRT today, i looked around and i realised how life is going to be like. Treasure the times that i have, it is not going to comeback nor is it going to wait. Face the challenges one by one. I am ready to move on to the next step. This is for Terrance, my good buddy:

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Lao-Tsu

All the best for your studies in UK. Thought it is a new beginning, a start of Uni life, don't forget your friends here, in Singapore.

Haix...

1st wk of prelims is over. This prelims kinda sux. The paper were not as easy as it seems to be. Standard has definitely increase from last yr. Gotta really jus do de best i can for the rest of the papers and hope to see some improvements from mid yrs. Haix...

Prelims

Yes. Prelims start tmr and I hv this unprepared feeling. Feels like i am gonna get fucked. I really need more time, but the unfocused studying that i hv been hving, giving me more time makes no use at all. With all the time i hv, let's hope that i can focus and make things better. LOL!